I miss Kimi

Themes for Class

1. Holding space for the self. I know there have been times, especially if I have a good relationship with the instructor, that I'll set the scene for yoga. I find myself calming down, serious, focused, aware of the creation of sacred space and ready to learn. And I want to practice creating that sense on the street. Notice how your body feels, chest lifts, feet are receptive, hips are free.

2. Creating LOVING sacred space, love without conditions.

3. The clasp knife reflex.....

4. Crunching the fists to lower into a forward bend.
5. For a more comfortable seat, to open the adductors, press on the inner groim.

Raghunath

I need to remember to write, that this keeps me sane and my thoughts organized.

I took Raghunath's class today- it was a spur of the minute decision.

I was going to spend the day sitting, dammit, at the lovely little bird. I was supposed to meet Alex Schatzburg for class at 12:15, but I canceled, thinking I would hardcore hanker down and apply and such all day long.

Instead, I learned how to transition from scorpion to chaturanga in Raghunath's class.

At 11:46, I was on Avenue B.....by 12:15 I magically was transported to Yoga Maya. Despite the fact I'm broke...I just had to. And now I have amazing yoga classes for a week, too.

That was an impressive amount of links for a few sentences.

Sun Salutation!!

Good morning.

I am starting my own venture! It's just a project for now, but maybe one day it will turn into a business.

I finally put it all together.

After having an incredible dinner at Cellar 58 with the gorgeously professional Emily Madge and Kate Perkins and Ben Horowitz (of Perkins Film, LLC), I was inspired to merge social media, solar energy and yoga.

The result: Sun Salutation, LLC, a marketing for the solar industry. Sun Salutation will focus on how to merge sustainable living into lifestyle choices. It will encourage particularly well-being oriented business to become more sustainable and generate interest in balanced living.

Good morning.

Holding Space

I just discovered Finding Sukha yoga school, located at 638 E 6th st between B and C. Finding Sukha is a calm spiritual sanctuary full of calm, dedicated (and extremely friendly!) practitioners.

Finding Sukha is also a strongly community based school, located right above The Organic Soul Cafe. The Organic Soul Cafe is located in The Sixth Street Center Community Center, and is run by Community Supported Agriculture, a program to unite New Yorkers with local farmers : )

I'll be going there on Tuesday, October 19th (that's tomorrow!) if anyone wants to join me.

Colleen Saidman's Retreat (Preliminary Thoughts)

Everyone makes me nervous, which is unfair because it's not really their fault.

I just spent 48 hours sweating knee to knee with 36 women- brilliant, bright and insightful, talented and accomplished. I didn't expect that. Perfectly aware of my mistakes in misogyny, I've always seen women of a certain age as unapproachable, alienating. Perhaps I expect them all to disapprove of me, or to frown at the contents of my purse.

There was this funny moment walking down to the retreat when I walked out of my room wearing a bikini and a towel, not thinking too much. Two steps away sits Tracy, who looks at me and says, "Oh good, I think I'll change into what you're wearing if it's ok". She was wearing pants and a t-shirt. I panic, and say, "Uh, well, I'm not sure if I'm doing the right thing. Maybe its not appropriate. Actually, I'm going to go change."

"Oh, I'm sure you're fine"
"Well, just in case..."
"Ok, then. I'll meet you down there".

I run and cover myself up with shorts and a t-shirt, and head back towards the sweatlodge. Suddenly I had this terrible realization:

Oh, shit. I just made a being less free.
.....how did I just have that interaction end with both of us wearing more clothes.
(Natti would kill me right now).

So I continue on to the sweatlodge, and there are all my "respectable" women hanging out in bikinis, "See, you had nothing to worry about," says Tracy.

I attempt to apologize to her, but she dismissed it with a smile- which didn't really offer me the dramatic catharsis I was looking for, but that's quite a lot to ask of a person.

The lodge itself was incredible, hearing the individual voices of these suddenly deep and personified people telling stories, singing songs, the rich history imbued in a simple name. Colleen got dropped the million dollar question by the conductor of the sweat lodge ceremony. A solid, fat, molasses voice begging for humor, with a deep respect for his culture and quite the busy schedule. Colleen began with "Yoga is the clearing of the channels that enables us to be with our highest self", and continued to say something eloquent along the lines of putting the body in poses to clear blockages and open space, living with impermanence and coming into the present moment, paying attention to generate love. Not to make excuses, but I'm afraid one's memory suffers in hundred-degree heat.

The theme of the retreat was coming to terms with death and dying, offering our prayers to Kali and burning what has been to make space for our intention. Besides my existentialism teacher Jean Graybeal, Lanny Harrison and mythical (as in, writing) characters, Colleen's one of the only people I've met to discuss death with such frankness and honesty, and it's quite a relief. More on that later.

Death and Rebirth: The Bat

We played with Medicine Cards on Thursday, I pulled The Bat.

An exacting choice, the bat is about the cycle of death and rebirth, the necessity of going through the periodic process to come into a new identity. The medicine card book mentioned rituals when tribal members about to pass into adulthood would spend the night in a grave with a blanket covering them, hearing the sounding threats of prowling animals passing by. The fear of being devoured in your grave. A sleepless night, no doubt. Quite the meditation.

My first thoughts were "Oh, I'd like to try that". Get it over with, you know? I feel that after being in a situation like that, nothing would threaten you. Reason says that's not near truth, yet still. Perhaps it is only fear itself that wouldn't threaten you- after you have known it, tasted it, felt it, it eventually looses its power. (Alternatively, perhaps becomes more powerful still, a long lost friend to pull you in an under to that night near dead? I suppose it depends on the experience and the duration and resolution of panic).

Strangely enough, Thursday night, this passage overwhelmed me with a sense of relief. It gave me a lens, a direction through which I could see my past week with.