Why I'm Scared of My Hips

I was lucky enough to be able to take Annie Carpenters last week- a hip opening session that, like all her classes, offered enough information to be considered a workshop.

Annie has this incredible creativity that disguises itself in simplicity and modesty. And we did a lizard lunge: instead of bringing the back knee down, we extended our hands right away.

Like always, I wish after class I had written down all the techniques we used, but as I recall, the main emphasis was on squaring the hips and rolling in the inner tight. This had the effect of engaging mula bandha and lifting the pelvic floor.

Then we went up against the wall, and, again much like Natasha's, that's when things got tight. We put our knee against the wall, top of the back foot on the wall, and began to move into a low lunge. In the words of an acquaintance, 'Oh My Science!'.

I was really scared. I had so much anger, resentment, annoyance stored in there. Although in the back of my mind, I know all emotions, all human possibility is accessible to everyone, there is a part of me that refuses to believe that I can be an angry, jealous, or resentful person. And like how I can. The moment I stepped into the lunge- I don't remember the thoughts, only their quality- they all jammed up into my head and attacked me. I was terrified.

And that type of radical self-knowledge and fear-facing is what I want to discover through yoga now.

Annie Carpenter

Annie is not the sort of teacher, nor is a Level 3/4 class the sort of place, that you would expect your instructor to make a "blarh" funny face to get you to loosen up. So far, SoCal is wonderful: brilliant, intelligent, super-aware yoga, down-to-earth vibe.

Annie teaches in Sanscrit, which is just right for a Level 3/4 class, but I actually haven't seen pure sanscrit in a while, so it caught me off guard. I like having something hold me accountable though. Her style reminds me so much of Natasha Ritzopoulis, it's nice to be able to have such teaching over here.

In the very beginning, class begun with a restorative virasana, which I so appreciated and wish I could have stayed longer. Afterwards, we moved into a cat/cow, when Annie pressed into my back and said "Oh, that's your spot, isn't it?". Yup, that's the place I'm always scared to backbend into, but I really, really need to because it's a huge area of growth.

One of my favorite moments in class was when we did drop-backs into pincha mayurasana. Annie had me demonstrate one and really helped me get into it in a way that was controlled and safe. Pincha mayurasana against a wall was an incredibly heart-opening practice and may be one of my favorite backbends. Can't wait to come back to class.