Yoga Mala

Has anyone accidently walked into a yoga mala?

I wonder if she planned to do it. I had heard rumors that Colleen does a 108 sun salutations, a yoga mala, every Labor day. When I walked into class today at 5:30, I expected a full crowd, the usual packed room that a class with Ms. Saidman usually gathers. Yet I was shocked to see no line, no crazy parking, no mat-to-mats. Just me and ten-odd people, a majority of which I recognized as teacher trainers.

We started off moving our arms from tadasana to heart center. A circular moment with the arms, up on the inhale, down on the exhale. Forward fold. Repeat, again. "This will be ten of 108", she says.

Right away, I was excited. I had come to class to shed off some old concepts of self, some people there was no fear to be anymore. My friend Natti came to class with me, after touring China for the past couple off months- I felt like this was a surprise he would appreciate, too.

Throughout the process, I gradually came into the room. My nose was clogged, an expression of how stuffed I felt in my own life, confused, my energy positive but stagnant, directionless.

Flash forward 108 vinyasas, and I feel like I can finally breathe. I may have been observing Colleen's manner at some points of the class, how absurdly present she felt. Each statement precisely practiced yet purposeful, every moment her eye on someone's hips, their throat, so very there. There was a moment I asked for an adjustment in my down dog- not verbally- she came to me right away. A woman sat down in class and Colleen came up to her and asked what was wrong. Upon learning that it was a stomachache, she placed her hands on her belly and just sat for a while.

I take everything with a grain of salt. I'm idolizing, one might say, but the overwhelming waves of respect and admiration are a recognition of a way of being I like. I think that's pretty powerful stuff. Admiration and respect are human emotions that I want to feel. I remember one reading a line; "relief in the feeling of gratitude". Admiration is an emotion I want to experience, much like awe, exhilaration, thrill, passion and all the other things that remind you of how fully you are to be alive.

I believe that life's question, how being a body is experienced and signified, is the most relevant thing I can think of dedicating time to. I think that's fair enough.